My mom passed away last night... [View all]

[cynatnite]

I cried a lot last night and thought I could put one foot in front of the other. I realized today when it hit me again, that this is going to take time.

It's not just emotionally, but I feel it physically, too. I was my Mom's caregiver for the last six months since she was diagnosed with cancer. My head hurts, my body is sore and I'm physically wiped out. I'm dreading the arrangements that are still yet to be made. There are her belongings that have to be gone through. She was a bit of a packrat and there's just so much. She never got rid of anything when her mother, my grandmother, passed away last year.

I've been told that I will feel relieved because of all the work and time it took to take care of her, but I can't feel that way. She's in no pain anymore and I'm glad for that. But I miss her and I can't imagine the days ahead without her. This is my Mom. It feels so different than what it did when my Dad passed away over 20 years ago.

Anyway, that's all. Thanks everyone.