group sessions for grief support.
i considered that a couple years ago but never really followed up. it was only a couple of people that did it and it was kinda hit and miss because they charged a fee for each meeting and wouldn't run a group unless x number of people were interested in attending. i couldn't make it with my weird ass work schedule.
also, you mentioned all these groups in churches. and i want to tell you that years ago, after my dad died, my mom was sent a letter from the catholic church my dad attended. my mom and i were not part of that but they were offering counseling to the families of the members of the church. and even though i was not religious or a member of the church i went because i felt i needed some help.
it was a nun who ran the group and i was on edge that first and second meeting, thinking they would try to convert me or spend the entire time talking about god, and god's will, etc. etc. and i was quite relieved and surprised when that did not happen. people shared their feelings, their experiences with losing their loved ones, their thoughts, their sorrow. the woman running the group would talk about coping skills and everyone listened to everyone's story, and shared. i found it very helpful. i remember wishing it would have been longer than the six or eight weeks.
when my mom died i should have gone to see someone (a counselor or therapist) but i couldn't afford it. i still can't. it's been nine years now, and i feel as if i've come a long way from the depths of where i've been, but it's still difficult for me.
you've gone through a tremendous life change in a very short period of time and i hope you are able to find some help coping with it and learning how to handle it. it would be nice if the v.a. offered grief counseling and grief support groups to people. i'm a bit surprised to learn that they couldn't direct you to anything specific. after all, it's not as if a death of a loved one rarely happens--we all go through this.
maybe check out or attend a few different groups that you found, even if they are in a church. listen to the stories, get what you can from it, tell your story and share your feelings. at the very least i think you will find you are not alone in your grief. if you don't like it you don't have to go back. you could try another group.
wishing you all the best.