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Bereavement

janterry

(4,429 posts)

10. Anger is usually easier to access

Reply to Coventina (Original post)

Thu Apr 9, 2020, 02:24 PM

Apr 2020

particularly for men (ime).

The old adage was that sadness turned outwards was anger and that anger turned inwards was sadness (from Freud of all people).

In quiet moments, what does he think? Does he think he is struggling? Does he think his anger is a problem? Does he think his grief is a problem?

Find a quiet time -and ask him.

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Looking for advice, bereavement related. [View all] Coventina Apr 2020 OP

I lost my father three years ago drray23 Apr 2020 #1

Thanks for your personal insight. That is very helpful to know. Coventina Apr 2020 #3

some people get really frustrated and angry when they lose control of a situation drray23 Apr 2020 #7

When my father was to die, I had to make the decision to take him off life support. zackymilly Apr 2020 #2

Thank you for sharing your personal story. Coventina Apr 2020 #4

Did he never say "extremely hurtful, intentionally wounding things" PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2020 #5

We've been together 23 years, and I can count on one hand Coventina Apr 2020 #12

I hope you can talk to him about this. PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2020 #22

Some issues are buried deep randr Apr 2020 #6

Thanks. I had been trying not to react at all, thinking it might blow over as a stage of grief. Coventina Apr 2020 #13

Maybe he's not fully aware Turbineguy Apr 2020 #8

Thanks. I will think about this. Coventina Apr 2020 #14

The day my H was diagnosed with cancer he went batshit crazy. A neighbor at the time was a in2herbs Apr 2020 #9

Thank you for sharing your story. Coventina Apr 2020 #15

It's been 3 years since his DX. Under the law no doctor can force a person to take meds they in2herbs Apr 2020 #20

Anger is usually easier to access janterry Apr 2020 #10

People like to discount Freud now, but he did have some very valid insights. Coventina Apr 2020 #16

My dad passed in 2003. Sure it shook things up a bit, yonder Apr 2020 #11

Thank you! Coventina Apr 2020 #17

I agree with #6 randr Get professional help. Any number of things could be going on. IADEMO2004 Apr 2020 #18

The abuse has been all verbal, not physical. Coventina Apr 2020 #19

Whatever path I hope you will soon find a happy place. IADEMO2004 Apr 2020 #24

Seek help Tree-Hugger Apr 2020 #21

Is there anything else that's happening such as job insecurity? lettucebe Apr 2020 #23

Hi Coventina SheltieLover Apr 2020 #25

If this is highly unusual, I would watch him closely for medical problems. Frustratedlady Apr 2020 #26

if i could write your response the next time he lashes out at you i'd have you say this: orleans Apr 2020 #27