Bereavement

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)

26. If this is highly unusual, I would watch him closely for medical problems.

Thu Apr 9, 2020, 05:45 PM

Apr 2020

Knowing he has something wrong and having just lost his father may bring his own mortality to the surface and he's fighting back in strange ways.

I also went through this when my husband suspected he had colon cancer. Very unexpected change in personality. He wasn't abusive, physically, but mentally. Divorce even came into the picture as a possibility, because the sudden change was a shock. Once he was diagnosed, his personality returned to normal and we were fine.

If a friend hadn't also gone through this, I wouldn't have been as prepared as I was. Her husband had experienced a heart attack at a fairly young age and he was scared. He treated her terribly when alone, but was friendly to the doctors and hospital staff. She was devastated, but stuck with him. That was 30 or so years ago and he is still alive and back to normal personality.

Good luck.

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Looking for advice, bereavement related. [View all] Coventina Apr 2020 OP

I lost my father three years ago drray23 Apr 2020 #1

Thanks for your personal insight. That is very helpful to know. Coventina Apr 2020 #3

some people get really frustrated and angry when they lose control of a situation drray23 Apr 2020 #7

When my father was to die, I had to make the decision to take him off life support. zackymilly Apr 2020 #2

Thank you for sharing your personal story. Coventina Apr 2020 #4

Did he never say "extremely hurtful, intentionally wounding things" PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2020 #5

We've been together 23 years, and I can count on one hand Coventina Apr 2020 #12

I hope you can talk to him about this. PoindexterOglethorpe Apr 2020 #22

Some issues are buried deep randr Apr 2020 #6

Thanks. I had been trying not to react at all, thinking it might blow over as a stage of grief. Coventina Apr 2020 #13

Maybe he's not fully aware Turbineguy Apr 2020 #8

Thanks. I will think about this. Coventina Apr 2020 #14

The day my H was diagnosed with cancer he went batshit crazy. A neighbor at the time was a in2herbs Apr 2020 #9

Thank you for sharing your story. Coventina Apr 2020 #15

It's been 3 years since his DX. Under the law no doctor can force a person to take meds they in2herbs Apr 2020 #20

Anger is usually easier to access janterry Apr 2020 #10

People like to discount Freud now, but he did have some very valid insights. Coventina Apr 2020 #16

My dad passed in 2003. Sure it shook things up a bit, yonder Apr 2020 #11

Thank you! Coventina Apr 2020 #17

I agree with #6 randr Get professional help. Any number of things could be going on. IADEMO2004 Apr 2020 #18

The abuse has been all verbal, not physical. Coventina Apr 2020 #19

Whatever path I hope you will soon find a happy place. IADEMO2004 Apr 2020 #24

Seek help Tree-Hugger Apr 2020 #21

Is there anything else that's happening such as job insecurity? lettucebe Apr 2020 #23

Hi Coventina SheltieLover Apr 2020 #25

If this is highly unusual, I would watch him closely for medical problems. Frustratedlady Apr 2020 #26

if i could write your response the next time he lashes out at you i'd have you say this: orleans Apr 2020 #27