Time passes, but still

[Marthe48]

4. Our 50th wedding anniversary is today

I guess without my husband, it is a commemorative date. I got a good steak from the small grocery store in town. I wll have it with mushrooms and a salad later today.

I was going to watch my grand kids today, but there was a change of plans and I don't have to. I have my chores caught up. I never liked to do dishes on any special days. I had a long coffee morning and am trying to think of what I want to do.

John has been gone over 4 years. I looked forward to this milestone, hoping that I can shed some of the strategies I used to get to this day. I miss him, but overall, I feel less mournful. I don't mind being alone, because I never feel alone.

The peonies bloomed and faded. Now the calla lilies have bloomed. Their elegant beauty catches my eye every time I step outside, even though they are peeking through their thicket of leaves. There is joy, we just have to see it.