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Bereavement

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kairos12

(13,247 posts)
Sat Jun 1, 2024, 12:43 PM Jun 2024

My wife's death. First time I'm posting. [View all]

Last edited Sat Jun 1, 2024, 07:38 PM - Edit history (1)

My wife died on 10 June last year. I haven't posted about it till now. I guess because it's the anniversary month. A horrible 31 month battle with gastric cancer. I lay beside her for 10 days in Hospice Care. We were married 40 years.

The only thing I've learned is that I used to say I wish I would have gone first. Don't be the one left.

Now, I say I'm glad I didn’t go 1st. There is no chance in hell I would have wanted her to experience the last 12 months.

I want to thank the DU community because it has been the primary source of connection for me during this year. And remains so today.

Peace and strength to all those who are grieving.

181 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Many very heartfelt condolences... MiHale Jun 2024 #1
Thank you MiHale kairos12 Jun 2024 #69
My condolences. sinkingfeeling Jun 2024 #2
Hello sinkingfeeling kairos12 Jun 2024 #70
I learned an interesting word relatively recently, very likely here... 3catwoman3 Jun 2024 #3
Is that Yiddish? DFW Jun 2024 #8
According to Dictionary.com, it is Yiddish. 3catwoman3 Jun 2024 #38
Spanish enid602 Jun 2024 #127
The languages are a combination of circumstance and necessity DFW Jun 2024 #147
Your suspicion of veil being a typo is right on the money. 3catwoman3 Jun 2024 #167
Not to mention.... DFW Jun 2024 #169
yes, yahrzeit is the anniversary of a passing The Blue Flower Jun 2024 #55
Dear 3catwoman3 kairos12 Jun 2024 #71
We light YAHRZEIT candles to mark the anniversary of a passing. elleng Jun 2024 #176
My condolences. But for a stroke of luck, I would have been posting something similar DFW Jun 2024 #4
So if my math is correct soldierant Jun 2024 #42
We met 50 years ago, this July DFW Jun 2024 #150
Hello DFW kairos12 Jun 2024 #72
She went through a LOT DFW Jun 2024 #148
❤️ underpants Jun 2024 #5
Dear underpants kairos12 Jun 2024 #73
Holding you in my heart. May you find consolation in 40 years of memories. n/t TygrBright Jun 2024 #6
Dear TygrBright kairos12 Jun 2024 #74
Caring comes in many forms. Yours means a great deal. n/t TygrBright Jun 2024 #95
Peace to You IA8IT Jun 2024 #7
Dear IA8IT kairos12 Jun 2024 #75
I will be thinking of you all day and throughout these days. I can understand and I grieve for you too. hlthe2b Jun 2024 #9
Dear hithe2b kairos12 Jun 2024 #76
Very sorry for your loss. I hope you'll be kind to yourself. Nt spooky3 Jun 2024 #10
Dear spooky3 kairos12 Jun 2024 #77
Thank you. ++++++++++++++ spooky3 Jun 2024 #84
Sending hugs kairos12 and holding you in my livetohike Jun 2024 #11
Dear livetohike kairos12 Jun 2024 #78
I am so sorry. badhair77 Jun 2024 #12
Dear badhair77 kairos12 Jun 2024 #79
All my blessings and sympathies to you. I can't even imagine, but aware that either my wife or I will have to face it. Doodley Jun 2024 #13
Dear Doodley kairos12 Jun 2024 #80
My heart goes out to you kairos12. Peace and strength to you. LoisB Jun 2024 #14
Dear LoisB kairos12 Jun 2024 #82
My sincere condolences (((💐))) Deuxcents Jun 2024 #15
Dear Deuxcents kairos12 Jun 2024 #83
I'm so sorry. barbtries Jun 2024 #16
Dear barbtries kairos12 Jun 2024 #85
I am so very sorry for your loss Kairos.💔 lucca18 Jun 2024 #17
Dear lucca18 kairos12 Jun 2024 #86
Seven years since my hubby passed. tavernier Jun 2024 #18
Dear tavenier kairos12 Jun 2024 #87
My condolences central scrutinizer Jun 2024 #19
Dear central scrutinizer kairos12 Jun 2024 #89
Thanks. Seven years have passed central scrutinizer Jun 2024 #166
I'm so sorry. live love laugh Jun 2024 #20
Dear live love laugh kairos12 Jun 2024 #90
Peace and grace be with you kairos12 Peacetrain Jun 2024 #21
Dear Peacetrain kairos12 Jun 2024 #91
We're at Year 48 this year, and not a day goes by when I don't wonder which of us is gonna leave first. calimary Jun 2024 #22
Dear calimary kairos12 Jun 2024 #92
(((hugs))) samnsara Jun 2024 #23
Dear samnsara kairos12 Jun 2024 #93
I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. I am also sorry you've been bearing it for this last year. marble falls Jun 2024 #24
Dear marble falls kairos12 Jun 2024 #94
One foot in front of the other. I know you will pull through. It is so wise you see his time with you as a blessing ... marble falls Jun 2024 #104
I hope you are taking care of yourself lillypaddle Jun 2024 #25
Dear lillypaddle kairos12 Jun 2024 #96
Heartbreaking wryter2000 Jun 2024 #26
Dear wryter2000 kairos12 Jun 2024 #97
Hold on to the memories. LiberalFighter Jun 2024 #27
Dear LiberalFighter kairos12 Jun 2024 #98
Peace and good health to you and yours. Magoo48 Jun 2024 #28
Dear Magoo48 kairos12 Jun 2024 #99
Please accept my sympathy. It has been 16 years since my husband died. Paper Roses Jun 2024 #29
Dear Paper Roses kairos12 Jun 2024 #100
Sending love and more love to you! Hope22 Jun 2024 #30
Dear Hope22 kairos12 Jun 2024 #101
You are welcome. Hope22 Jun 2024 #113
Blessings on her memory Wicked Blue Jun 2024 #31
Dear Wicked Blue kairos12 Jun 2024 #102
I'm so sorry Kairos for the loss of your wife and best friend FakeNoose Jun 2024 #32
Dear FakeNoose kairos12 Jun 2024 #103
I'm so sorry for your loss. louslobbs Jun 2024 #33
Dear louslobbs kairos12 Jun 2024 #105
💕 louslobbs Jun 2024 #181
Peace to you, kairos12. ancianita Jun 2024 #34
Than you for that. Elessar Zappa Jun 2024 #40
Dear ancianita kairos12 Jun 2024 #106
I'm so very sorry for your loss. yardwork Jun 2024 #35
Dear yardwork kairos12 Jun 2024 #107
Thank you. How kind of you! yardwork Jun 2024 #179
I'm very sorry for your loss. Lost my sister before Trump. 58Sunliner Jun 2024 #36
Dear 58Sunliner kairos12 Jun 2024 #108
Thank you. 58Sunliner Jun 2024 #177
Of an age to think about this rockbluff botanist Jun 2024 #37
Dear rockbluff botanist kairos12 Jun 2024 #109
Deepest sympathy to you and yours my friend malaise Jun 2024 #39
Dear malaise kairos12 Jun 2024 #110
Take care of you... Dan Jun 2024 #41
Dear Dan kairos12 Jun 2024 #111
Heart hugs to you 4TheArts Jun 2024 #43
Dear 4TheArts kairos12 Jun 2024 #112
So sorry for your loss. It gets better, the grief is rough. Been there myself. brush Jun 2024 #44
Dear brush kairos12 Jun 2024 #114
I am so very sorry for your loss. Dem2theMax Jun 2024 #45
Dear Dem2theMax kairos12 Jun 2024 #115
Condolences. AltairIV Jun 2024 #46
Dear AltairIV kairos12 Jun 2024 #116
So very sorry for your loss! PortTack Jun 2024 #47
Dear PortTack kairos12 Jun 2024 #118
I lost my first wife at age 39, returnee Jun 2024 #48
Dear returnee kairos12 Jun 2024 #119
My Condolences and sympathy to you Kairos12, such a long marriage must contain many wonderful ShazamIam Jun 2024 #49
Dear Shazamlam kairos12 Jun 2024 #120
My sweetheart and I made it to 40 years. Mme. Defarge Jun 2024 #50
Dear Mme. Defarge kairos12 Jun 2024 #121
Dear kairos12 MLAA Jun 2024 #51
Dear MLAA kairos12 Jun 2024 #122
Peace and strength to you, kairos12 MerrilyMerrily Jun 2024 #52
Dear MerrilyMerrily kairos12 Jun 2024 #123
I am sorry for your loss. pandr32 Jun 2024 #53
Dear pandr32 kairos12 Jun 2024 #124
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find a sense of peace during this time Maraya1969 Jun 2024 #54
Dear Maraya1969 kairos12 Jun 2024 #125
Oh my, that's sad wendyb-NC Jun 2024 #56
Dear wendyb-NC kairos12 Jun 2024 #126
My condolences. I lost my wife to cancer seven weeks ago. maveric Jun 2024 #57
Dear maveric kairos12 Jun 2024 #128
Thank you so much. maveric Jun 2024 #132
I hope you're OK. SarahD Jun 2024 #58
Dear SarahD kairos12 Jun 2024 #129
Hugs DU friend. nt AKwannabe Jun 2024 #59
Dear AKwannable kairos12 Jun 2024 #130
The first year is often the hardest. Irish_Dem Jun 2024 #60
Dear Irish Dem kairos12 Jun 2024 #131
So sorry you lost your spouse of a lifetime Farmer-Rick Jun 2024 #61
Dear Farmer-Rick kairos12 Jun 2024 #133
I'm sorry for your loss. area51 Jun 2024 #62
Dear area51 kairos12 Jun 2024 #134
Thanks for letting us know. That must have been an awful three years for her. Hope you will be OK. ED Evolve Dammit Jun 2024 #63
Dear Evolve Dammit kairos12 Jun 2024 #135
Bless you. I lost my husband 17 months ago Richluu Jun 2024 #64
Dear Richluu kairos12 Jun 2024 #136
Psalms 30:5 Richluu Jun 2024 #180
Iknow how hard it. It True Blue American Jun 2024 #65
Dear True Blue American kairos12 Jun 2024 #137
What a painful thing to go through. I'm sure she was glad you were there with her. flying_wahini Jun 2024 #66
Dear flying_wahini kairos12 Jun 2024 #138
Peace elleng Jun 2024 #67
Dear elleng kairos12 Jun 2024 #139
You are most welcome, kairos12. elleng Jun 2024 #175
Dear elleng kairos12 Jun 2024 #178
Our thoughts... kentuck Jun 2024 #68
Dear kentuck kairos12 Jun 2024 #140
I'm so sorry for your loss. Ocelot II Jun 2024 #81
Dear Ocelot II kairos12 Jun 2024 #141
Peace and condolences for your loss. Dulcinea Jun 2024 #88
Dear Dulcinea kairos12 Jun 2024 #142
So many complex facets to the grief of losing one's life partner. Sending strength to you Attilatheblond Jun 2024 #117
Dear Attilatheblond kairos12 Jun 2024 #143
I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife of 40 years sdfernando Jun 2024 #144
Dear sdfemando kairos12 Jun 2024 #156
Sending peace and strength to you... virgdem Jun 2024 #145
Dear virgdem kairos12 Jun 2024 #157
Thank you for your kind words. virgdem Jun 2024 #173
So sorry for your loss nt Nululu Jun 2024 #146
Dear Nululu kairos12 Jun 2024 #158
Here's hoping you do well in the future Nululu Jun 2024 #161
I am so sorry. murielm99 Jun 2024 #149
Dear muirelm99 kairos12 Jun 2024 #159
Peace BoRaGard Jun 2024 #151
Dear BoRaGard kairos12 Jun 2024 #160
Sincere condolences , kairos gademocrat7 Jun 2024 #152
Dear gademocrat7 kairos12 Jun 2024 #162
I'm so sorry. Scrivener7 Jun 2024 #153
Dear Scrivener7 kairos12 Jun 2024 #163
I know it's tough... and I'm sorry that you're going through this. Oopsie Daisy Jun 2024 #154
Dear Oopsie Daisy kairos12 Jun 2024 #164
I'm so sorry for your loss cate94 Jun 2024 #155
Dear cate94 kairos12 Jun 2024 #165
Condolences .... jdadd Jun 2024 #168
Dear jaded kairos12 Jun 2024 #171
Rest in Paradise, kairos12's beloved wife Niagara Jun 2024 #170
Dear Niagara kairos12 Jun 2024 #172
This message was self-deleted by its author TBF Jun 2024 #174
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