jmowreader
jmowreader's JournalSince Trump wants a new Golden Age, here's how to dress for it
The last Golden Age in America was the pre-Great Depression 1920s. Trump wants to bring that back...especially the Great Depression part, apparently.
So, let's get you dressed up for it.
Men:
Guys, you're wearing suits. Deal with it. The suit styles of the 1920s were similar to today's. They were generally worn with shirts that had detached collars. In the modern haberdashery trade collars are attached to the shirt but that's fine. Ties could be solid-colored, striped or patterned.
Popular shoes were oxfords, wingtips, two-toned and capped-toe styles. The easiest ones to find today are oxfords. They were worn with dark socks, generally held up with garters.
Your hair needs to be slicked down with styling products like hair oil. Vitalis and Brylcreem were popular brands then, but there are many products to choose from.
Top it off with a fedora and you're ready to take on the world.
Women:
The stylish lady of the 1920s wore a sheath dress, often in black. These are really easy to get these days. They wore "short dresses" then, which had knee-length skirts. You'll wear stockings - pantyhose are what you can normally get these days - with shoes like oxfords, Mary Janes or low heels.
Your hair will be short and finger-waved. Hair gel is your friend. Hoop earrings will be worn, one per ear.
Your makeup will be...painful. The stylish lady of the 1920s completely removed her eyebrows and penciled new ones in. The most long-lasting way to deal with this is to have them waxed completely off. You'll wear heavy eyeliner all the way across both eyelids, black eye shadow, and very bright red lipstick.
As far as headgear goes, headbands and cloche hats were both very popular.
Spurious News: Trump attempts to go fuck himself, fails spectacularly
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- On April 11, the Trump Administration delivered to the president of Harvard University a list of ten demands meant to shut down the storied college's Diversity, Equity and Inclusiveness programs and to end what Trump called "antisemitism" at the campus.
In response, Harvard invited the president to go screw himself; they rejected outright Trump's demands. In a statement issued April 14 on whatever they call Twitter this week, Harvard said "The university will not surrender its independence or relinquish its constitutional rights. Neither Harvard nor any other private university can allow itself to be taken over by the federal government."
President-for-Life Donald Trump's aides report that Trump is attempting to do what Harvard asked, and failing spectacularly at the task. "Because the president's penis is only an inch long," said one who demanded anonymity, "he isn't able to go fuck himself. But he's sure trying."
The president's aide also reports that alternative dispute resolution is not working well. "He can't go to Hell because the Devil doesn't want him around, he's afraid of water so he won't take a long walk off a short pier, and he refuses to piss off because he thinks someone will make another pee tape. So it's going to have to be going and fucking himself, and so far he hasn't been able to do it. But I gotta tell you, it's been fun to watch."
Spurious News: Trump imposes 55 percent tariff on French drains!
PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- President-for-Life Donald Trump today imposed a 55 percent tariff on the importation of French drains, a common landscaping and civil engineering feature.
"It is totally unfair to American drain companies that French drains have been allowed to take over and push American drains off the market. As your favorite president, it is my duty to Make American Drains Great Again! And by collecting tariffs on these un-American drains we can eliminate income tax once and for all."
John Martin, director of trades group Allied General Contractors, points out this tariff will probably not have its desired effect. "A French drain is a ditch full of gravel, sometimes with a perforated pipe in it. No one's ever imported one from France or anywhere else because they are created on site."
Anne-Marie Carpentier, spokesperson for the French Embassy in Washington, is similarly confused: "French drains are named after an American whose family name was French. They have nothing to do with France, except that we use them too. What is he going to do next, tariff French fries?"
In a subsequent announcement made after Ms. Carpentier spoke, Trump placed a 43-percent tariff on French fries - a product mostly made in the states of Idaho and Washington. In response, McDonald's Corporation, the largest seller of French fries in the United States, simply stuck a piece of duct tape over the word "French" on their menu boards and went back to work. Said a McDonald's spokesperson, "it stays there until he's gone, and we're placing a 43-percent retaliatory tariff on food sold to Donald Trump."
Spurious News: Trump orders Morehouse College to end DEI efforts
PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- The tightly-knit community of Historically Black Colleges and Universities was shocked to the core today as President-for-Life Trump ordered Atlanta, Ga.'s Morehouse College, a pioneering Black college and the largest all-male liberal arts university in the United States, to end its practice of preferential admission for Black men.
"It is highly discriminatory," said Trump as he posed for photos on the 13th green of his Palm Beach golf course, "for any university to prefer enrolling Blacks to Whites. That's pure and simple DEI and totally un-American. My order will ensure that the next class, and all classes going forward, at Morehouse College have a percentage of White men equivalent to that of the general United States population."
"Is this motherfucker nuts?" asked Samuel L. Jackson, movie star and Morehouse graduate. "Morehouse was founded as an all-Black college back in the days when the Black man couldn't get into college for no other reason than he wasn't White. Of course it's full of Black men. That's what Morehouse is for - to provide Black men an excellent education. White men can gain admittance to Morehouse, but most White men don't want to go there. And that's perfectly fine. But leave Morehouse the fuck alone, President Motherfucker."
Similar orders were issued to the other 103 operating HBCUs and the 65 historically Native American colleges and universities. Most of them, including Morehouse, plan to ignore Trump's order and operate as they now do.
Just so you know, the company that makes Dramamine is up 4 percent in today's trading
Apparently Dramamine is selling well after Trump's tariff crap has made everyone seasick.
Today I learned Presidents Clinton and Bush 43 will have warships named after them
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_R._Ford-class_aircraft_carrier#NamingOn January 13, 2025, President Joe Biden announced the names of two upcoming Gerald R. Ford-class aircraft carriers.
USS William J. Clinton (CVN-82) will begin construction in 2027 and will be commissioned in 2036.
USS George W. Bush (CVN-83) has no scheduled construction start date. On big ships like CVNs planning that far ahead is pretty typical.
Ever want to get paid for rolling joints? Do I have a job for you!
On LinkedIn, Phat Panda of Spokane Valley, WA, is seeking a Cannabis Joint Processing Lead.
The job pays $17.66 per hour and includes PTO, free meals three days a week and "free Q&A samples." If you're stuck in a job that doesn't allow you to partake in weed, this is for you: not only do they allow you to smoke the devil's lettuce, you get free marijuana every month to do it with! It's full-time so it's probably not a good job for someone who isn't married to someone outside the weed industry.
You need a high school diploma or equivalent, proficiency in Microsoft Office, leadership attributes and six months' experience rolling smoke in a commercial setting.
Spurious News: Trump levies 38 percent tariff on North Sentinel Island exports!
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- "It is totally unfair that all these countries have high tariffs on American-made goods while we have none on theirs," said President for Life Donald Trump. "Last week I thought I had ordered tariffs on every country in the world to correct this. My aides have informed me there was one country I missed, so I am fixing my mistake."
North Sentinel Island is a small island in the Bay of Bengal, a waterway that lies between India and Burma. It has less than 100 residents, no modern conveniences and no trade with the outside world. Its residents, the Sentinelese people, so thoroughly reject contact with non-Sentinelese people they usually kill anyone attempting to reach the island. To protect both the Sentinelese and the general public the Indian Navy enforces a five-mile exclusion zone around the island.
And now, thanks to Trump, any exports from this island to the United States, of which there are none, will be hit with a 38-percent tariff.
According to Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, this tariff is absolutely critical to ensure the viability of Trump's tariff regime. "If we didn't have a tariff against North Sentinel Island, countries trying to evade the tariff we levied on them would simply sail to North Sentinel Island, dock at their deepwater port long enough to have all the shippers' information on bills of lading changed to North Sentinelese corporations, then import their goods into the United States tariff-free. This action stops them from doing that."
The ocean shipping community is quick to disagree.
"First, does anyone in the Trump Administration even know where North Sentinel Island is?" asked Captain Henrik Solmer, master of M/V Emma Maersk, one of the biggest container ships in the world. "Since they don't, I will tell them: It's far enough out of route that the tariffs on the entire cargo from one voyage of Emma Maersk, if coming from a Chinese port, would be about half what it would cost for the fuel and crew pay to steam from Shanghai to there and on to the Port of Los Angeles, one of the few US ports that can handle my ship."
Captain Solmer continues: "To think anyone would transship through North Sentinel Island is ridiculous on its face. They have no ports, no corporations, no money, almost no residents, neither import nor export anything...and no one I know would even think about steaming there without an escort." When asked what kind of a ship he would want as an escort, he replied, "The USS Gerald Ford Carrier Strike Group might be a little on the light side for that job. The Sentinelese don't play around."
Navy Captain Rick "Powder" Burgess, commanding officer of USS Gerald Ford, refutes Captain Solmer's preference for an escort. "This ship is on my hand receipt," said Capt. Burgess, "and I'm not risking her for such a mission. The Navy has done oceanographic surveys of the area around North Sentinel. A big ship, like Gerald Ford or Emma Maersk, couldn't get within three miles of the coastline. It's not just that the Sentinelese would attack, which they would. It's not deep enough near North Sentinel Island to sail anything bigger than a dinghy into Sentinelese territorial waters without running aground and getting yourself killed by the residents. I am risking my career by saying anything about this administration...but it seems like they're just trolling over there."
Two songs, same title: Which one's better?
The title is "Only The Good Die Young."
Billy Joel's version:
Iron Maiden's take:
Not Spurious News: Idaho set to make Ivermectin an OTC drug
https://idahocapitalsun.com/2025/04/03/idaho-legislature-approve-ivermectin-deregulation-sending-bill-to-governor/Just so you know, there are a few cases annually of parasitic infection that Ivermectin is capable of treating in South Idaho potato country. But if you get one, the Idaho Health Department has no problem with providing you all the Ivermectin you need.
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